Whenever I watch the Christmas miracle type movies/TV specials, I always hope and pray with all my might that I can experience something like that. How I�d love to wake up Christmas morning to a proposal from D. Find out that D�s sister-in-law came to her senses and is going to reconcile with her husband. Hear that my sister and brother have forgiven each other, and have apologized to my parents for putting them through so much stress for so many years. Receive a call from my parents to hear that they found a very large, anonymous cash gift on their doorstep with a note telling them to retire to a warmer climate. Wake up to find that I crave exercise but not food and no longer have self-esteem/food issues.

Yeah, it�d be nice.

Damn Hollywood for making people wish for things that have a �slim to none� chance of happening.

I really need to stick to being serious about diet and exercise. At best I've been sporadic with it, and that's just not good enough. I�ve been reading kstyle�s diary for the past 8 or 9 months now and am so impressed with how far he�s come with his diet and exercise. Actually his whole attitude towards life is quite inspiring.

One of the Christmas miracle specials that I watched was �Karroll�s Christmas� on A&E. Tom Everett Scott played the main character. I�d never seen the guy before in my life, and he looked a lot like my first serious boyfriend. Especially when he smiled I thought, �Holy crap, he looks like B.� I never really had another serious relationship after him until I met D. I�d dated a few people, but it was never anything serious. One guy was actually someone who was a client where I worked at one time. He loved my voice and after about a year or so of talking with him on the phone (business 95% of the time), he asked if I�d like to have dinner with him. I figured what the heck. He wasn�t bad looking, but he was at least 25 years older than I was. He tried and tried to get me to keep going out with him after that. I just couldn�t. He had a son that was only a few years younger than me. I felt bad turning him down because he was such a nice guy, but I couldn�t see the two of us as a couple, and that�s what he wanted. One of the guys I worked with at the time told me to go for it anyway because the guy was loaded. Yeah. Nice. I don�t pretend. I don�t play games. Sorry.

I partied a little during the interim years, as well. And tried to get my head together. And tried to get my spirituality in check. I did some things I later regretted, but have made peace with them.

(T knows about almost all of what I�m talking about there. In spite of all my idiocies, you�ve always been there when I needed you, T. I can only hope I�ve been half as good a friend to you as you�ve been to me. Thanks.)

Then in �98 D and I finally met in person (we knew each other online for about a year before that). I can�t say all has been perfect since then, because no relationship is, but I love him with all my heart. We�ve got a good thing together and I hope and pray it never ends.

D and I decorated our Christmas tree Monday night. Buster tried to help. As we were stringing the lights he decided he wanted to eat one of them. I turned to see him staring down at a light that he bit in half. They were plugged in but he showed no signs of receiving a shock of any sort. I was concerned he might have a bit of glass in his mouth but after checking his mouth, with much fussing on his part, we decided it looked okay. He was then banished to the bedroom until we finished stringing the lights. I could see him peeking out at us, giving me his best, "Please let me out, I promise I'll be good, please feel sorry for me" look.

Dope.

On the baseball front, the Pedro Martinez soap opera is finally over. I�m disappointed that he left. I�m also disappointed that David Wells is now a member of the team. I�ve never liked him. It�ll be interesting to see what he brings to the club. I�m at least happy about where Martinez is going. The Mets were my favorite team growing up, and still were until I moved into the Boston area. It took me a couple of years to be lured into the Red Sox Nation but I�m now firmly planted and have no intention of going anywhere else. Anyway, the Mets can use all the help they can get. Their performance this past year was miserable. I just hope that Pedro�s arm remains in good condition and he can perform as well for the Mets as he did for the Red Sox.

I�m also very excited about Edgar Renteria signing with the Red Sox. What another awesome addition to the club.

Can�t remember if I�ve mentioned that my bosses found a replacement for Sorority Girl. She started the week of Thanksgiving and has fit right in to our department. She lives only about a mile from me and tonight we talked about grabbing drinks after work, hanging out, etc. That�s cool. I need people to have a drink or two with, or just hang out with. D�s got his volleyball gang. I need a little gang of my own. KnowwhatImean? I miss having a small group of people to hang out with.

Well, Santa needs to go wrap some gifts before she� I mean he� turns in for the evening.

Pleasant dreams to all.